The Time That Never Was
by Sylvia Blackwood
Summary: After the final battle, Harry wakes up in the infirmary to a world where the war never happened, people once dead were now alive, and life should be perfect, right? Wrong. Students saw Harry as a bully, he had no real friends, and the man he loved... hates him beyond reproach! If only he could remember what happened during the final battle... M/M Snarry AU
1. The End I Never Imagined

**Author's Note** : Follows DH for the most part. Extra plot will be revealed gradually. ^_~

* * *

The Time That Never Was

Harry could hear voices around him as he was coming out of the fog of unconsciousness. He heard the familiar voice of someone he treasured.

"He's too stubborn to kick the bucket, just like his father."

Harry, despite the pain, forced his eyes open, straining against the weight. He felt nauseous as he force his eyes to focus beyond his poor sight. Above him, he could see the man he never thought he'd see again. "Severus!" Adrenaline forced him out of the bed he was on in order to latch himself to the man in front of him. "Thank Merlin you're alive!" He clung hard to the man, unable to believe the heart beneath his ear was actually beating.

What came next was not what Harry expected. The man he accosted struggled out of his grasp and shoved him harshly to the ground. "Get off me you wretch!" He said with disgust. "Just the thing to make my day miserable, having the Potter brat throwing himself at yet another body."

Harry felt sick, but he heard perfectly what the man said, and it stung. He slowly got up and looked around. He was in the infirmary at Hogwarts, and everything was still. No screams, no destruction, no nothing. He struggled towards the window and gasped in surprise. "The battle is done." He whispered, hardly able to believe it.

"What are you taking about Mr. Potter. You just had a nasty accident with a bludger hitting you in the head at your Quiddich practice." Madam Pomphry said.

Harry's head was swimming. If this man in front of him was impossibly here, then was there another? "Where's Dumbledore? I need to speak with him as soon as possible." Madam Pompfrey exchanged a worried look to Snape's confused one.

"One does not just pop in on the Minister of Magic, Mr. Potter." She said.

Harry was shocked to hear this. "Then who's the Headmaster?"

"Head _mistress_ , Mr. Potter. Professor McGonagall is very busy, and doesn't have the time for an attention seeking student."

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was all too strange he couldn't remember much of what happened to him recently. But one look at Snape told him that he'd rather be here right now, with Snape glaring at him than the alternative. Which had him dying in his arms.

"Forgive me Madam Pompfry and Professor Snape. I'm just confused."

"Professor?" Snape asked. As though he thought the term sounded ridiculous.

"…Aren't you?"

"Don't insult me boy. I wouldn't be caught dead being a teacher to a bunch of Neanderthal induced imbeciles. I'm just the residential potions supplier here to deliver Madam Pompfry's order."

Harry sat on the bed, holding his pounding head in his hands. "Then may I please have something for the pain?"

Without speaking, he saw an elegant hand hold a potion, uncapped, to him. He took it, and downed it without looking up.

"That was a stupid move, Potter. I could've been handing you a vial of poison."

"From the color and smell, I knew it was the Pain Reducer potion." He added softly, "Plus, I trust you."

Snape didn't seem to hear the last part. "Impressive, looks like that fool Slughorn is doing something right for a change if even the dense Harry Potter could learn something."

Harry's heart was breaking hearing those words.

"Mr. Potter. Are you alright. Do you need another potion?" The mediwitch asked.

Harry noticed that tears were falling down his face.

"I must've hurt the crybaby's feelings. With that, I shall take my leave." Severus turned and walked out of the infirmary, leaving a broken Harry behind.

"What in the world could be wrong with you?" Asked the witch as she was trying to diagnose what else was wrong with Harry.

"Everything and nothing. I'm… I'm just confused. Please. May I just rest here?"

"Of course… I'm worried about your head injury. I don't think you have a concussion, but I'd like to keep an eye on you tonight."

Harry felt exhausted. And he felt so alone. He couldn't think, and he couldn't breathe. "May I please have a dreamless potion?" He asked.

"… Why, yes. Of… of course." She went to fetch the potion.

"What's the matter?" Harry asked.

"It's just that I've never seen you being so polite. You have a reputation of being quite arrogant."

Harry didn't know how to take this. He just downed the potion, and settled down. "Then I think we're both in for a few surprises."

He closed his eyes, and drifted off. Letting the potions work their magic, and carry him into oblivion.

* * *

" _Why can't you concentrate Potter? Are you so weak that you can't even handle a simple mind blocking spell?"_

" _I'm not weak!"_

" _Then prove it!"_

 _*FLASH*_

" _How dare you!"_

" _I'm sorry Professor! I didn't mean to look!"_

" _GET OUT!"_

 _*FLASH*_

" _They have him. They have Padfoot. Ministry. Hurry!"_

 _*FLASH*_

" _Avada Kedavra!"_

" _NOOOO! SIRIUS!"_

* * *

Harry bolted awake, crying out. He took a moment, and just tried to focus on his breathing, but he was still shaking, and sweat poured down his face.

He got up and headed towards the bathroom. When he turned on the light, he was startled by his own reflection. He expected to look a little shaken, but his hair was longer than it's ever been, his features were muscular and healthy, yet still delicate. And he had an impressive 5 o'clock shadow. It was as though he was never starved in his life. But what shocked him most was his scar. Or the lack-there-of. He splashed some cold water onto his face and tried to wrack his brain as to what happened. The battle. The final battle. Why couldn't he remember? His mind went blank after Severus… no, he refused to think about that. The man was alive. He hated his guts, and it hurt. But he'll take a cynical Snape over a…

Harry went back into the infirmary and tried to go back to sleep.

* * *

Morning came, and Harry was still awake. He tried to think about as many memories as he could think of, but he was still drawing a blank as to how he went from the final battle to here. The world is different. That much is obvious. But it's more than that. He had a look at the daily prophet, and it was all mundane news. New Ministry regulations. An outbreak of Dragon Pox, and the latest Quiddich scores. Nothing about a war, Death Eaters, Voldemort, or himself. So… what changed? He had too many memories for them to be false, but he still couldn't think about his memories for right here and now.

Just then, the mediwitch came in, and stopped when she took one look at Harry. "Did you do something to your hair?"

"Yeah, I cut it down a bit, and shaved."

"I was under the impression you were growing it out for your Godfather."

Harry's heart leapt. "You mean… to honor him?"

"I suppose. Though that one's had his head in the clouds since he went here. I don't think his ego can get through the doors anymore."

Harry took from this that his Godfather was in fact alive and well. Harry felt relieved, but still confused. If everything has changed, does that mean that _no one_ is dead? He should have been more surprised that Dumbledore was also alive, and not… Who were his friends? Who were his enemies? Too many questions. "Um… I wanted a change. I don't feel like the same person I was before yesterday."

"I believe it. How is your head feeling?"

"It's fine pain wise, but things are… fuzzy memory wise. I'm not sure about certain things. What if I can't do my work?" Come to think of it, what year was he in? If he was supposed to be there for his final year, he was in trouble. He hadn't learned anything while being on the run with Ron and Hermione.

"I don't think this will excuse you for getting out of classwork, Mr. Potter. If you're struggling, perhaps you should have one of the other students tutor you."

Harry knew who he wanted. But he was worried still. He hoped he could find his class schedule within all his belongings.


	2. The World I've Never Seen

Going through his own trunk was like sifting through a stranger's belongings. He was still in Gryffindor, and still in the same dorm room. But these clothes… these shoes… they're nice, but they're not… his. Not his style. He hasn't come across anyone yet since everyone should be at breakfast. He luckily found his schedule in a notebook, but the rest of the notebook was borderline useless. There was hardly anything except doodles. He'll have to have a talk with his professors. He desperately wanted to get out of there and explore the rest of this untainted world. He wanted to see how life was different for those who didn't have to fear a war.

"Harry!" Harry jumped when someone burst in. It was Seamus and Dean. They rushed up to hug him. "Where've you been? Everyone was told you weren't allowed visitors. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little… off… I suppose."

"Well no wonder. You were out the whole weekend."

"Yeah, I don't even know the date of today."

"Well we need to get to class. Or we could celebrate your release by playing hooky." They leered at him, and Harry felt rather uncomfortable.

"Unfortunately, I've got to make an appearance. My steps are being dogged by the mediwitch."

"Oh yeah, you don't want to be on her bad side. Alright then let's go."

* * *

Classes were uneventful for the most part. Except that he's been receiving a lot of glares from his fellow students, and he couldn't tell why. What broke his heart even more was how Ron and Hermione… they hated each other, and they hated him. It seems as though Dean and Seamus were his best friends now. They were pulling all sorts of pranks throughout the day, and tried to get Harry in on the fun. He just shook his head, and told them he wasn't in the mood.

In Slughorn's potions class, they were thankfully doing a potion he'd done before in the previous year. At least he wasn't too far behind in this subject. He looked over at Neville, and saw that he was about to add too much boomslang to his cauldron. "Wait!" Harry whispered, startling the boy. "You put that much in, it will explode."

"And why should I believe you?" Neville asked.

"Because I know this potion. Too much will react badly to the toad venom."

"Just go away Harry, I won't believe a word you say." And he dumped the whole batch in. Sure enough, the potion started to gurgle and churn violently. Harry quickly put up a shield to prevent the explosion from going anywhere. Neville looked shaken.

"I told you. Are you alright?"

"What do you care Potter? You delight in reminding me of my ineptitude. How do I know you didn't put something in there on purpose to cause that reaction anyway?"

"This stuff would burn your flesh if it came in contact. Do you think I would find that funny?"

"You seem to relish my pain well enough. I'd think you'd get a kick seeing me flail. Or did you contain it simply so I could worship you as my hero, like you do so many others?"

Harry paled. He didn't like that. "You mean I… laugh at other people's pain?"

Neville scoffed. "You always have."

Just then Slughorn finally came over. "What in tarnation is going on here?"

"Harry tampered with my potion sir."

"Well Mr. Potter, that will be 10 points from Gryffindor, and Detention with Flitwick tomorrow night."

Harry didn't argue. He was too busy thinking about what Neville had said.

As the rest of the class started to file out, he turned one last time towards Neville. "For what it's worth… I'm sorry…" And without another word, he headed towards the Professor's desk. "Professor, may I please speak with you?"

"Being cordial for once Mr. Potter? Today must be my lucky day. Impressive shield by the way. It looks as though you've learned _something_ in one of your classes."

Harry wished he could disappear. Apparently, he was a terror. A bully. He didn't like that. Not one bit. But before he could say anything, he was interrupted.

"It seems as though, for the first time, you managed to brew a decent potion."

"Am I really so bad? Please Professor. Am I…a terrible person?" He wanted to cry at the thought.

Slughorn must have seen how distraught he looked, for his face calmed, and he took a deep sigh. "Mr. Potter. For years, you've been a nuisance to Professors and students alike. The only friends you seem to have are those two boys. I don't know what to do with you."

Harry heard enough. "Give me extra homework. Please. I've asked this of my other Professor's and they've all said pretty much the same thing, only very vaguely and delicately. I can't explain it, for no one could possibly understand. But I'm not the same Harry Potter I was last week."

Slughorn looked down at him, and searched his eyes for deception. Finding none, he let out another sigh. "Very well then. I want a two foot essay on the properties of Veritiserum due tomorrow."

"Thank you Professor." Harry felt as though he'll need to make up a few apologies to his teachers and fellow students. He was glad he wasn't famous, but he wasn't glad that he was being scorned by the whole student body. He almost hated himself.

Heading towards the library, Dean and Seamus blocked his path, "Hey Harry. You want to go flying before dinner?"

"No thanks guys. I've got extra work to do tonight. I'll just see you later."

"Oh come on. You always blow off your work when there's something funner to do."

"Well that was then, and this is now. I'll just see you guys later."

"Yeah, whatever."

As Harry moved to the library, he could tell that his 'friends' were not the kind he could talk to. He needed someone. Anyone.

In the library, he found the one person he missed most of all at the moment. Hermione was sitting alone in the corner. She was a little disheveled from her frantic studying, but at that moment, she was more beautiful than any person in the world right at that moment.

"Um… excuse me… Hermione?"

She didn't even look up. "What do you want Potter?"

"To talk to you."

"So talk, then go away. I'm busy."

Her coldness made Harry sad. "Tell me honestly. What kind of person am I?"

She balked. "Wow, I knew you were clueless, but this is too much. Let's see, where to start. The list can go on forever. You're rude, conceited, selfish, stupid, arrogant, witless, dense, and overall dislikeable. Does that sum it up?" She still wasn't even looking at him still.

"Have I hurt you?"

"Only my pride, you prick. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do."

"Please. I don't know who else to turn to. And I really need someone right now."

"So go get your lackeys and leave me be!"

"Please just look at me!" Harry was almost desperate.

Hermione finally looked up, and was confused by what she saw. The proud man she knows who would never talk to someone like her looked to be on the verge of tears. She felt a pang of sympathy for him, but that didn't stop her from hating him. "Ok, I've looked at you. Now will you go? Go find some other conquest."

Harry didn't want to think about that. "Hermione, please. I can't explain everything, but I'm not the Harry you think I am. I don't even know who he is. And I can prove it. What's a spell you know that Harry can't do?"

Hermione was more than confused now. Sure he got a haircut, and was acting differently, but she knew he was full of trickery. "Well, you epically failed at Accio."

Harry pointed his wand across the room. "Accio potion book!" And the book flew to his hand without hesitation.

Hermione was stunned. Only she and a handful of other students could do that one. She wondered how this could be a trick. "Ok, what about a Patronous?" She knew he couldn't conjure one. That was beyond even her level of skill.

Harry smiled and concentrated, "Expecto Patronum." And a beautiful stag leapt out of his wand and pranced through the aisles of the library in a silvery blur.

Hermione was close to being frightened. It was impossible. Not many in the world could have a fully formed Patronous. This… jerk… was close to failing every class, and he didn't even care. But looking back at him, she saw something behind his eyes. Torment. Pain. A haunted and lonely shell. This was not the Harry Potter she's had to endure for years. This Harry was much more mature, and much more grounded. "Ok. You have my attention. What do you want?"

"I honestly don't know… I just… can't explain it unless I show you. But even then, I don't want to burden you. I just… feel so alone right now." That's when the tears finally fell.

Hermione didn't know what came over her. She was out of her seat in a second, and pulling Harry into an embrace. He in turn, clung to her as he started to sob. She smelled the same, and he felt lighter just being around her. She was always a true friend, and he hoped they could be that way again. "I'm sorry. This must be very strange for you."

"You have no idea. I keep to myself the whole time. I don't even go in for meals, and everyone avoids me."

"What about friends?"

"What friends? Who needs a bunch of self-righteous jerks who can't read? I'm here for an education. Not friends." She pulled away.

"I'm sorry Hermione. In a way. This is my fault. I know it. And not for the reasons you may think."

"I don't know what to think Harry. You were really mean to me in first year, and now you're sentimental. What do you think I should believe?"

"I hope you can believe me when I say I want us to be friends. More than anything. I would vow that under Veritiserum. And I am willing to do what you ask of me in order to prove my sincerity."

"You can sit quietly, and do your homework." She said without skipping a beat.

Harry laughed. "That's what I came here to do in the first place. I asked for extra work from all my teachers in order to catch up. I haven't been able to study the whole year, and the reason is again different from what you think." He pulled out his books and began to write. "And don't worry. I don't plan on asking you questions or expect to copy your homework."

"I wouldn't let you anyway." She was wondering if that was what this was about. Him sweet talking her in order to copy her work. But after those two spells, she didn't know what to think. This Harry… he was different… he looked… scarred and branded from a bad experience. She decided to practice what she was currently trying to learn... Occlumency. She figured she'd just get a small peak before he noticed she was there. No such luck. She encountered powerful shields.

Harry looked up at her and smirked. "Years of practice. Though not from here. If you really want to know, I can show you. But I don't want to scare you."

Hermione was curious, but she didn't push it. "We'll save that for another time." And she finally went back to her book. They sat in comfortable silence, working together until curfew.


	3. The Truth I Never Wanted

The next few days passed very much in the same way. Harry would ask for a little extra work, and he and Hermione would study in silence until the end of the night. Finally, the weekend came, and everyone was looking forward to the Hogsmeade weekend.

While they were studying, Harry asked, "Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

Hermione actually blushed. "Um… well. I suppose so. Just so we're clear…"

"Not as a date. As friends. It's all part of the mystery I can't explain. I'm not interest in anyone except the one person I've already fallen in love with."

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. "Alright then. Truth is, I was worried. I've heard you were a bit of a player for both sides of the fence for a while."

"The Other Harry perhaps. This Harry is unquestionably, undeniably, and undoubtedly in love."

Hermione was curious now. "With who?"

Harry smiled. They were getting more comfortable with their conversations. "You may or may not know him. He's quite a bit older… quite a lot older actually… and our history is complicated. Until you know the whole story… I don't know how much to say."

"Fair enough. So you are gay then."

"Is that a problem?" He asked worried.

"Well, it might be for the other girl's who've been doting on you for years."

"Have I ever… done it… with anyone?"

Hermione snickered at his blush. She rather liked this Harry. "Well, some have claimed you did, but the stories are always different. I guess the Other Harry would know."

They started calling Harry's rambunctious self as Other Harry since he was very different to the Harry now.

* * *

While walking to Hogsmeade, the two of them had a pleasant conversation of this and that and mundane things. Harry felt at peace for the first time in a long time. The first store they went in, Hermione bought new ink and quills, and Harry purchased a journal. He needed to keep track of his life. The one that supposedly didn't happen.

They roamed around aimlessly, going into various shops, and going to a café for lunch. On their way back, they ran into trouble.

"What the hell, Harry! Why are you hanging out with Granger of all people all of a sudden?" Dean and Seamus stood in front of them.

Hermione bristled, but Harry stood in front of her. "She's my friend." He said with confidence.

"You mean she's your latest fuck. That's the only reason why you would hang with a girl for more than a week."

"She's more of a friend to me than you two are right now. I don't know the Harry you tag along with, but I am not him. So please just let us go our separate ways."

"Wow, she's poisoned you. You used to be fun Harry."

"Well, that Harry is gone now. I don't know him." He motioned for Hermione to walk with him, away from those two.

"You'll pay for abandoning us. Rictashempra!"

Harry didn't miss a beat as he put up a shield and countered with Confundo. The two of them started throwing hex after hex at him, and he was deflecting them all with ease. Finally, he had enough. "Expeliarmus!" Both their wands flew to his outstretched hand. He stared them down. "Let me make this clear, once and for all. I want nothing more to do with the Harry you know. He is gone, and never coming back. Deal with it!" He threw their wands on the ground and walked away with Hermione close behind.

"How did you do that Harry?" Hermione asked.

"What do you mean? It was just dueling."

"But we've never learned how to do something like that, and some of the spells you used were not in the curriculum. Not to mention the fact that you executed a perfect Expeliarmus that captured not one, but both wands flawlessly. That takes a lot of talent and skill."

"It's all part of the mystery Mione."

"What did you call me?"

Harry flinched. "I'm sorry. It just slipped. It was a nickname I used when…"

"You've used it before?"

"Yeah, in a way."

"Harry, I'm tired of the mystery. Please tell me something. Anything."

Harry sat down on a stone bridge and looked off into the distance. After a few minutes, he took a breath, "Last week, something happened. This world… right here, right now… is not the one I belong in. I don't know who this Harry was, and I hate him. But the Harry that's me… has a burden that carries the weight of the whole world. From the time I was 11, I was fighting for my life, and was constantly put into danger. Everyone was. This world was on the brink of destruction, and nobody knows." He lowered his head. "I was at the end of a losing war, and something happened. I must have done something… I can't remember… I'm not explaining this very well. Let's just say… I'm from another… timeline. Something was changed and the world is how it is now. Only I'm the only one who is left behind. May I show you some things?"

Hermione nodded. Harry stood up and touched her temple. Sending select images into her mind through Occlumency.

 _*FLASH*_

 _A lonely cupboard… a pathetic bedroll… crying in silence…_

 _*FLASH*_

 _Dumbledore stands at the Podium in the Great Hall as Headmaster of Hogwarts, "Welcome to another year at Hogwarts…"_

 _*FLASH*_

 _Slam! "There's a Troll in the Dungeon!"_

 _*FLASH*_

 _A shadowy figure hunches over the body of a dying unicorn, and suckling its blood like that of a vampire bat. The figure raises its head, blood dripping from the horrid lips. Pain… unspeakable pain the head._

 _*FLASH*_

 _The turban is removed from Quirrel's head as a disjointed voice speaks through the air, "Harry Potter… we meet again…" Fear grips at the heart as the face in the mirror is revealed._

 _*FLASH*_

 _Running… running… giant snake close behind…_

 _*FLASH*_

 _Flying on the back of a Hippogryph with an escaped convict… Sirius. Innocent, and now on the run…_

 _*FLASH*_

 _Dread… the Goblet of fire flares with an uncanny light as it regurgitates an unwanted name from its contractual flames. "Harry Potter…" Dumbledore says in disbelief and quiet outrage._

 _*FLASH*_

 _A graveyard…another boy killed… the bite of a dagger as it rips open the flesh, digging for the much needed blood. Horror… Terror… A nightmare in solid form… He's back…_

 _*FLASH*_

 _Destruction… Skull masks invade Hogwarts and destroy everything in their path. The headmaster is dead. No hope… no hope… all is lost…_

 _*FLASH*_

By the time he pulled away, he saw tears running down Hermione's eyes. He gently wiped them away and pulled her into a hug. He was even more grateful that he had her by his side in this world. But he hoped he didn't show so much as to make her afraid to continue being friends.

"Oh Harry. I understand now…"

"Are you ok?" He asked, still holding her.

"It's too real to be a trick. Far too real. I have to assume it's real and that's all happened. It feels like I'm watching the life a disassociated twin." She saw herself among those visions and couldn't believe that she was meant to have been there during some of those dreadful times.

"I know the feeling. I don't know the Harry you know. And you don't know the Hermione I know."

"Am I even that Hermione? Are you sure I'm not just a replacement?"

"No. You're the same as you ever were. You just made different decisions in this life. You're everything she is, and vice versa. And I hate to say it, but I can see how I could've ended up being this terrible Harry if I hadn't gone through everything else I've gone through. Tragedy builds maturity. For me, I've had to grow up long before my childhood was over. But the Harry here. He must have had a happy life… I envy him."

"Who was the third?"

"Ronald Weasley."

"That floundering flop who's dating Lavender Brown? How in the world did that ever happen?"

"He was the first person my age I spoke to after I found out I was a wizard. We spent the trip on the train getting acquainted before we were sorted."

"Why haven't you tried to befriend him like you've done to me?"

"Because you've been the one who has stuck by my side, through thick and thin, and no matter how much danger I was in or how much the world turned its back on me, I always thought that so long as I had you as a friend, I'd be alright. Ron… well, while he was a good friend. And we did endure a lot together… but he failed me. More than once, just when I needed him the most. He turned his back on me when someone forced my name into the Goblet of Fire for the Tri-wizard tournament. He left us when we were on the most dire mission of finding certain cursed artifacts, and he disapproved wholeheartedly of the fact that I was not only gay, but who I chose to be with. Despite all we had gone through, I wasn't sure our friendship was going to last. But right now. I just needed someone. I needed you."

Hermione smiled at him. "This is all so strange, still. But, it's nice to get to know you like this."

Harry gave her another hug, and they walked back to the castle comparing stories of their own respective timelines.


	4. The Mother I Never Knew

Since they never went into the Great Hall for meals, Harry was surprised to find an owl in the library with a letter for him. He let the bird have some of his snacks as he read the curious parchment. All of a sudden, his legs gave out, and he sagged in his chair.

 _My Dearest Harry,_

 _It has come to our attention that by your Headmistress that there has been some drastic changes to your attitude in your classes. Not bad changes, but disrupting to say the least. I wish you would tell me what's going on. Is everything alright? Did something happen? You know I'm always here for you, my darling. I know you're sick of the endearments, but I can't help myself. You'll just have to forgive your sentimental old mum. Your father sends his love, and so does Sirius._

 _All my love,_

 _Mum_

Harry couldn't stop the tears from falling as he clutched the parchment. He thought about how Sirius was not dead, so why did he not realize this? His parents were alive! Alive and well! He was crying with happiness and sorrow, and everything in between.

"Harry! Are you alright?" Hermione asked as she came in.

Harry gave a strangled laugh as he fought to keep his tears under control. "Yeah. I'm fine. Better than fine in fact. I'm just such an idiot."

"How so?"

"I just got a letter from my mum.… just a simple note. But it's more valuable than all the treasure in the world right now. I had to grow up with the fact that my parents were killed. Both of them were murdered trying to protect me. And here they are alive!" Fresh tears flowed.

Hermione patted his shoulder. "Perhaps you could have them come next weekend? It's another Hogsmeade weekend."

Harry smile through his tears. "That's a brilliant idea Mione."

She was starting to like that nickname. For the first time, she finally could appreciate what it felt like to have a friend.

Harry gave her a hug, and went to go write a letter to his mum.

 _Dear Mum,_

 _Honestly, things are not fine. But, that doesn't mean that anything is wrong. Technically, everything is right, as it should be. I don't want you to worry. There's just too much to explain. Would it be possible to meet up with you and Dad this weekend? I have a lot of things I'd like to talk with you about._

 _I'll never get sick of your endearments!_

 _I love you so much!_

 _Your Harry_

Harry went straight to the owlry to send it off.

* * *

Harry was on pins and needles. He was in the farthest corner of a café waiting for his mother to show. Apparently James was on a business trip, working for the Ministry. But his mother was delighted to accept the invitation. As soon as Harry saw her walk through the door, time seemed to slow to a crawl. She was beautiful. There were streaks of grey lining her flaming red hair, and her face was creased with age, but her smile was radiant and the most gorgeous thing Harry had ever seen. He couldn't help himself, she spotted him right away, and walked over with open arms, and Harry nearly dove right into them. He was as tall as she was, but he buried his face into her hair and breathed deep. He couldn't stop the tears from falling. It seemed like he was doing a lot of crying lately.

Lily clung to her son, and was worried at his emotional display. "Harry, what's wrong?"

Harry continued to hold her, afraid she would disappear. "Nothing. Just… happy to see you… you have no idea."

"Harry, I can't even remember the last time you cried like this. What's happened?"

They made their way into the booth, but Harry refused to let go of her hands. He tried to calm his breathing, and took a few sips of water before he began. "Mum… can you tell me what I was like growing up?"

"Well, I don't know what you'd like to hear. You were always a sweet boy. Your father and Sirius just adored you. Sirius took you under his wing when you were very young, and you followed him around like a little duck. Still do in fact." She giggled.

Harry smiled, but he could tell she was sugar coating it. "So, like Sirius, I took delight in picking on others?"

"Sirius raised you to be a prankster, much to my dismay. But since you never had any siblings, it seemed natural that you were behaving rambunctiously. I thought you would grow out of it eventually."

Harry looked down. "Mum, please be honest with me. Was I a terrible son?"

Lily looked shocked. "What? No. No, Harry. You were simply having fun with your youth. I was a little concerned with some of the things your Professors said, but I couldn't stay mad at you for that. You're only young once."

Harry still didn't like this answer. "So you'd forgive my transgressions?"

"Always hun. I know you. I know you're a good person. Just like your father. He had fun in school, but then he matured, found a nice girl," She winked at him. "and grew up to be a wonderful man. Perhaps all you need is to find the right person."

"Well… technically, I have found the right person, but it's more complicated than I can describe."

"Is that why you're so troubled lately?"

"It's only a small element of what I've been trying to endure these passed couple weeks." He looked straight into her eyes and spoke softly. "Mum, I have something to show you, and you're not going to fully understand. Not until you see what I've seen."

"Harry darling, you're scaring me."

"That's probably the correct feeling. May I show you?"

Lily wasn't sure what he was doing, but she allowed him to touch her temple, and a flood of images and feelings overwhelmed her mind.

 _The portly Dursley shoved his nephew through the door and pulled his hair, "What happened?", the boy tried to answer through the pain, "I don't know. One minute the glass was there, and then it wasn't." More shoving. The bulbous man threw the boy into the small cupboard. "There's no such THING as MAGIC!" Then darkness._

 _*FLASH*_

" _Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being who she was. My mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. We have… a witch… in the family. Isn't it wonderful?" Her voice dripped with heated sarcasm. "I was the only one who saw her for what she was… a FREAK! And then she met that Potter. And then you came along and I knew you'd be the same, just as strange. Just as abnormal. And then they went and got themselves blown up! And we got landed with YOU!"_

 _*FLASH*_

" _You Harry who have never known your parents, see them as they are. That is the danger of the Mirror of Erised. Men have wasted away in front of it."_

 _*FLASH*_

" _HARRY!" The painful scream deafened the ears, pounded the heart as the shadowy figure loomed and frosted the very corners of the heart._

 _*FLASH*_

" _It was Love. Harry was protected by Lily's love. I couldn't touch him. But now, the same blood flows through my veins. I can touch you now." Pain… Excruciating pain!_

 _*FLASH*_

" _When the connection breaks, we can give you a moment to get away. But only a moment!"_

" _Harry, take my body back to my father."_

" _Let go, sweetheart. You're ready to let go."_

 _*FLASH*_

 _Chaos. Running through the Ministry. Sirius was not in trouble. He was not being tortured. But Bellatrix had him, "Avada Kedavra!" One final look before he fell through the misty void. In the distance, the perverse pleasure could be heard in the voice that shouted in a sing song voice, "I killed Sirius Black! I killed Sirius Black!"_

When Harry pulled out of the visions, Lily was speechless.

"What was all of that Harry?"

"That's my life as I know it. I'm not the Harry you've known, and you're little more than a stranger to me, because in my time… You're all dead."

Lily came around and embraced Harry. He curled into her, and continued to cry as they sat in silence. Lily stroked his hair and went over what she had just seen. Such danger. Such pain. Such fear. She didn't doubt that Harry had indeed seen all these things. Yet, she couldn't understand how. She was concerned about his behavior of late. She was glad he had such a connection with Sirius, but she thought they let it go too far in recent years. She loves her son no matter what, but she didn't know how to reign in his attitude. She had wanted him to grow up, but not like this.

She was mildly concerned when she received Harry's letter, because he's never once written a correspondence back, especially not with such sincerity. Whether these were simply visions that tormented her son or if it really occurred made no matter. This Harry is a world wearied man who's seen the worst of mankind. Her baby was in pain, and he needed her.

She thought about how she saw him with her sister. She knew what her sister was like, and the man she married. It frightened her to think of Harry as a child in that environment.

When he finally calmed down, he was able to just talk with her. She couldn't remember a conversation she enjoyed more. They talked about Harry's past in this time and the next. Harry showed contempt for his other nature, like the disapproving brother. They spoke of Voldemort and the war that never was. She could only vaguely remember the name Tom Riddle. And Harry revealed some of his personal troubles growing up with the Dursley's. She could see how strong her son was, and she was proud of the man sitting before her. The man she knew her son had the potential of becoming.

"Mum, there's one more thing I wish to discuss today before you go."

Lily gave him her undivided attention, still holding onto his hand.

"I've been hearing stories about my so called, 'conquests', and I have no idea if they are true or just fallacy, as I hope they are. For I am in love with someone, and even though I can never be with them now, I'd like you to know."

Lily didn't speak. She just waited for him to continue.

"I was involved in relations with another man. How do you feel about that?"

"Harry, Sirius and Remus have been together for years. I'd be a fool if I were to deny my son his own happiness."

Harry looked blank for a moment. "Alright, I didn't know that about them. But I'm glad, I suppose. But the other issue is that he is quite a deal older than me."

"Again, if you love him, and he loved you in all sincerity, I'd be nothing more than happy for you both."

Harry smiled relieved to hear this, but then he pressed on. "The rest is complicated. The two of us went through so much together. The war changed us, and we were both certain we were going to die. But through each other, we found a ray of hope. A future with happiness worth fighting for. We persevered through many obstacles, but in the end… I still can't remember how I went from being in the middle of the final battle to being here now. I did something. Changed something. So much that the war never even began. All the death and suffering I had seen had never occurred. The last thing I remember…" Harry took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears away. "Was him dying in my arms. I felt him slip away and leave me behind."

"Oh Harry…" Lily rubbed his hands.

"The first thing I saw upon waking up to the world as it is now, was to his face and voice. He was alive and well, and I was beyond overjoyed. But that lasted only a few seconds as he verbalized his utter hatred for me. And from what I've heard from other people, I would hate that Harry too. But it means that the man I loved… truly is gone forever." That's when the tears finally fell once more.

Lily squeezed his hands. "Who was it Harry? Do I know him?"

Harry wiped his eyes. "I think you do. It's Severus Snape."

Lily gasped. She hadn't thought about him in years.

"I heard you two were friends at one point. Is that still true?"

"…Yes… We knew each other before we went to Hogwarts. I admit our friendship didn't last more than a few years, and I always felt bad for it. But in the end… I felt like he didn't want to be my friend. He pulled away."

"I think a lot of that was Sirius's influence, if that's still the case. Either way, the damage is done, and I'm nothing more than Potter's spawn to him. He hated me when he was my Professor, but he's saved my life numerous times. We didn't start getting to know each other until my sixth year. He's the one who taught me Occlumency. And from there, we found out that we had more in common."

"If he learned to love you once, perhaps he could be persuaded again."

Harry smiled bitterly, "Perhaps, but I won't be able to do anything until after school. I'm pleased to inform you that my scores are rapidly rising. I haven't been to school all year, up until a couple weeks ago, because I was currently fighting a war. But combined from what I already knew and what I taught myself, I'm not that far behind. I should be thankful that I have a future that I can focus on."

Lily was concerned, for Harry's OWLs were on the lower end of average. But James brushed it off, saying that Harry will grow into his potential. Lily could see it now. And she had never been more proud and thankful than in that moment as she embraced her son once more.

* * *

TBC

 **Author's Note:** This is shaping up to be a loooong story. I beg your indulgence. Also, just a side note, I don't mean to be a Ron basher or leave him out of a lot of my stories. He just ends up not contributing to my plots like Hermione does. This could change as the other stories progress, but he's constantly just put on the back burner.


End file.
